I loved, loved, LOVED this book! Even if it wasn’t a romance story about a curvaceous, plus-sized woman getting together with a hunky, muscular man, I STILL would’ve enjoyed this book. It was witty, charming, and hilarious. Yes, there were moments where I laughed my ass off. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Let me back up for a second.
If you’ve read my reviews before, you know how it works. So let’s get on with it. 😉
Leah runs a successful bakery, but it’s not really enough for her overly-critical mother. Her mother thinks if she lost weight, then she could find a man. Enter Sam Cooper, who defends Leah’s date-ability to her mother by introducing himself as her fiancée. Can they keep up the ruse and remain friends all while Sam is trying to make Leah’s family hate him so she is forced to call off the wedding? And what happens when he decides he wants to make it real?
Now on to the FUN stuff! Before we go on, as always, continue reading at your risk. There will be SPOILERS ahead.
From the first chapter, I was enthralled. I quickly found Leah had a way with words and some of them reflected poorly on her self-esteem. Within the first few pages, she thought, “Thank God they lived in Texas instead of Alaska or an Eskimo might’ve mistaken her for a seal and tried to skin her.” I really felt for her. It wasn’t hard to tell someone had really done a number on her self-esteem and this is something that the author developed well throughout the book. Especially the way it came together in the end. After all, we can count on one of two things in a romance book—HEA or HFN. I was ecstatic is turned out to be an HEA that included Leah finding some balls of her own.
I also loved the relationship her and her best friend, Val, had. It reminds me of a few of my own friendships. You know the kind. The type of friendship where you can read your friend’s face and you know what’s going on. That kind! These two bounced off of each other like a soccer ball. Val asks Leah about the type of guy she wants. When Leah comes back with, “A pulse,” Val responds by saying, “No vampires. Check. What else?” I’ll admit it, I giggled. Great Twilight reference. At least in my mind.
Of course, there was also the way Leah described her best friend, Val: “She had expressive blue eyes, wavy platinum blond hair, and looked more like a cutesy toy poodle any guy would give their right testicle to take for a walk.” Page one! I’m just saying. I absolutely laughed at this. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who describes their friend(s) by breed, let alone say it aloud. Which Leah does while dancing with Sam. Though I thoroughly enjoyed his response, “A poodle—that’s it! I had her pegged more as Chihuahua, but I think you nailed it. All she needs is a large, obnoxious pink bow in her hair.”
By this point, I.WAS.SOLD. And I hadn’t even made it through the first chapter yet. It only got better as I went along. Several more zingers throughout the novel between Sam and Leah. And the two of them trying to figure the other out, while trying to cut through the sexual tension at the same time was a total riot. Not to mention it was fun watching Leah misconstrue about 75% of what Sam said and Sam desperately try to find his attraction to Leah. I simply could not put Size Matters down.
Now, I could sit here and gush about all my favorite parts and/or lines in the book. Instead, I’ll share a couple and then you can go check it out for yourself.
- Max said he [Sam] has a small penis.
- So let me get this straight. You need to deliver your ex-boyfriend’s wedding cake, topped with plants, and filled with something that sounds like a venereal disease…and people are actually going to eat it?
- Sure, buddy. We’ll see how lucky I am when you walk away and Leah rips my head off my shoulders and shoves it up my ass.
- God. His penis really must be small if he thinks pie is better than sex.
- I thought the same thing until I found out the bars of soap were leftover from the guests’ rooms. The thought of touching something that probably ran up some old man’s ass crack was enough to make me gag.
I could go on all night! But, I believe I have given you enough from this book. Check it out here and judge for yourself.
In the end, I was left with two questions. Is there a place where I can find Leah’s dessert recipes? And where can I find my own Sam Cooper?
With all that said, I give it
Author/Contributor: Brigit Rosé
On a side note, I’ll be setting up my own website soon and hopping on the Twitter train so you can read more of my reviews.