Review of “Knocked Up on Valentine’s Day”

KnockedUpLet me begin by saying, this was a good cover. It was part of what drew me in. The blurb on the book is what convinced me to buy it. After reading the story, I regret it. Yeah, it was only $0.99, but there was so much wrong with this book that I couldn’t even enjoy the sex scenes. Then again, I started to feel like if I’d read one, I’d read them all.

Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Now, you know the rules, expect spoilers. If you want to go waste a $1, then I won’t stop you, but you should beware of what’s to come.

Here’s the down lo. Brandt, the father of a brilliant seven-year-old daughter, goes with his best friend to an anti-Valentine’s Day party. There he meets Emma, an over-dramatic naive young woman, who lives in a small town in Maine. The two hook up once. Upon seeing old pictures of his ex-wife, his daughter, and him on his refrigerator, she puts her clothes on and leaves. Bam! Four weeks later and she finds out she’s pregnant, but she has no way to get a hold of Brandt and doesn’t know his last name. (Reminds me of a country song.) badsexOh, but he’s been searching every which way backward and forwards to find her when he stumbles on an old business card of hers. He flies out to Maine and spots her walking along the street. At which time, he can easily tell she’s pregnant. The two finally come together and from there a lot of back and forth with his ex-wife running interference any way she can and Emma falling for it.

At this point, you get the gist of the story.

my-reviewFirst, the opening was long and boring. Way too much information about Brandt’s job as company owner was given from his POV. Though maybe the third line of the book should’ve given this away: “It was tedious and boring.” I feel like this describes the story quite aptly. I probably could’ve overlooked this, except it continued throughout the whole novel. There were parts I skipped because I just couldn’t push myself to read another paragraph where we were told things. self-affirmation-dog-memeNot to mention, my first impression of Brandt was that he was a self-involved man-whore. It wasn’t that he went to a bar with a friend of his, but that he got a blowjob from a woman and all he knew about her was her first name. On top of which, after he’s satisfied, he actually pats her on the head like she was a good bitch.

Then there was Emma. I have never read a character who was as gullible as this chick. First, she runs after a hook-up with Brandt because of some pictures on the fridge. I get that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her with another woman and this made her a little weary. The problem I have is the only pictures she referenced with the “wife,” Brandt and their daughter are when the little girl was a baby. If there were other pictures and it was just Brandt and his daughter, don’t you think that maybe the child’s mother is no longer in the picture? downloadOr am I asking for a little too much realism? Okay. Then how about this. After Emma finds out she’s pregnant, she comes back to New York with Brandt and stays with him. She’s been there for maybe a week when the ex-wife shows up on the doorstep, invites herself in, and proceeds to tell Emma that her (the ex-wife) and Brandt are getting back together. Instead of questioning this, Emma goes into the bedroom she has been sharing with Brandt, packs up her shit, and leaves … again. Are we seeing a theme here?

That’s just the start. Overall the character development with the main characters just wasn’t there. There was way too much telling throughout the whole story with a lot of unnecessary backstories. It was very much unbelievable in a multitude of ways and the editing was highly lacking. hqdefaultAside from a couple of fun and interesting moments with Brandt’s daughter and mother, there isn’t a whole lot of positive I can say about this book. I honestly felt like the author was in such a hurry to get the book out there that she didn’t really invest any time or effort into the story. I will not pick up another book by this author.

In total, I give this book 2 stars.


Author/Contributor: Brigit Rosé


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