I have found in life there are two types of days most of us have. The first is the kind of day which causes us to be full of joy and laughter. You know, the kind of days which we enjoy the rays of sun on our faces, or hanging out with our friends as we just enjoy each other’s company. And then there are other days. You know the type, the kind of days where everything which can go wrong…does. The bad performance review at work, or the car accident on the way home, there are millions of things which we can see within our daily routine which can make our days miserable.
So we return home. And for those who have spouses, life partners or just the person you trust your whole world with there, we have two more kinds of days. Either the kind of day when it seems as if the world is against you (which it is but more on that later) and your loved one understands when you tell them about it or they don’t. We have all been there when we have returned home to the only place which you may find a bit of relief and either find that relief or become even more frustrated. This frustration sometimes becomes disconnected from the original issue and turns into tension between you and your loved one.
What began as an outside influence has now become a cauldron of negativity festering around everything you wish to keep peaceful. But it does not have to remain that way, and there is something you can do about it. In fact, all you really need to do is…..
Push the reset button on yourself.
We all know we have one, whether or not we choose to use it in moments like these can really be the difference between a loving long-term relationship and one which is spiteful or ends in a manner which was not how you originally had hoped. Resets are perfectly fine in a relationship, and truthfully when you are in a relationship that is truly loving, you will notice no one keeps count of the reset button. You can always take a second to start over, and there will be no reset penalty held against you.
For some, resetting may be a walk in the park and coming back to the conversation, for others it may be taking a shower, but whatever it is there is no specific limitation to be able to start over. One of the core attributes of love is patience, and resetting when needed is a wise way to work your ability, in love, to be patient.
When you press the reset button on yourself, you are allowing another opportunity for your loved one to reevaluate you and for you to reevaluate yourself. Take advantage of this moment and remember the reason you are having a conversation in the first place. You are home and the person you are talking to is your love. There is a reason you trust them with the safety of your habitation, a reason you are talking to them about your day. The reason is that you love them and your sharing of the good, the bad, and the ugly is the place you have found to be a safe outlet for you.
Resetting does not have to be a complicated matter. It can be whatever simply reminds you of the reason you are sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly which can be considered a type of reset as well. For my house resetting is when I go to bed. No matter what happens through the day when I get ready for bed I know that my wife will place her feet on me as we snuggle up together.
The fact that her feet on most days are cold is the kind of reminder which keeps me in a humble place when I tally my obstacles for the day. For the reason she can and has placed her feet on me in the first place is because I am the safe place she finds before she rests from the evening. It is a reminder of the importance of us as a couple and how we should continue to grow closer to one another. Her feet may be cold on some nights but not on others, but when they are as long as she keeps them there we warm them together. Whether it is feet warming or dealing with those not-so-good days, love carries us through them and being patient enough to wait till things get better (or warmer) will always bring us back to the result we continually hope for.