I have come to learn over the last decade of being a husband there are things that change and things which do not. Bills change, friends change, people change, but change has always been known as a sign of growth in natural law. It can be said everything which does not change is unnatural. When a child has an issue with growing it is thought to be a bit illogical and thus that child is sent to experts to determine the issue which is usurping the natural order. The process of growing is the process of changing. The purpose for a child to grow is so he/she may become an adult. Growth is the vehicle for the change we all need in our lives.

 

In ten years, I have laughed hard and cried harder. I have run forward with reckless abandon, and I have moved backward tip-toeing on eggshells the entire way. I have triumphed and I have made mistakes, in all I have done regardless of whether or not my personal character has been consistent, I have grown. I have seen my marriage stand on the verge of failure to the pinnacles of success, and everything in between. It was not by my own hand which my marriage was saved, but by the same principles left to us by our creator through natural law.

I have found out relationships need also to obey natural laws, all relationships must grow to survive. The growth of two people into a whole functioning unit is a wonderful metamorphosis. It takes us from being individuals who have the ability to create whatever we desire and build our future with our own hands into becoming an entity which will have the strength to stand no matter the circumstances because we are no longer standing alone, but tied together with the same goals, the same dreams, driven by the desire to see the success of one another. Relationships are poetic in this manner, revealing depth and complexity line by line until the goal of motivation is recognized or achieved.

 

Love is more than just a combination of words and a summary of romantic actions, love is a commitment to change.

 

A commitment to ever-evolving with the best interest of one another in mind well before ourselves. It is the choice we make to render our own lives less important than the life with our beloved. It is a commitment to each other’s goals, hopes, and aspirations to memory. A commitment to remove our insecurities from one another and to build a stability which can dawn a new era in our lives and empower us to achieve more than we had ever dared to before. It is a commitment of crushing our own belief systems and forcing ourselves to achieve the impossible, and all of this is never motivated by emotions, our emotions are fleeting at best.

 

These commitments all have one thing in common, the constant of change was chosen. The promise of fulfilling the natural order of law to be upheld, the choice of remaining at each other’s side no matter what the cost is how to say from the bottom of our hearts…. I love you.

I used to play chicken with words. See if they could outlast cat feet on the keyboard and endless software updates. You might not think it possible, but I’ve killed off numerous words in this ambivalent game of word roulette. Why do this after working hard to put them on a page. Truth? I didn’t think they were good enough but I couldn’t hit delete.

Stephen King has two catch phrases, Kill Your Darlings and I’m paraphrasing here – Sometimes what you think is shit is actually good writing. Darlings I find in editing. I have a graveyard filled with what I think are awesome lines. I troll it every once in awhile, recycle a word or two, but mostly laugh and wonder what was I thinking?

As to shit writing. Everything looks that way at 2 am when your eyes are bugging out of your head. It’s okay to walk away, hit save, return in a few days. The words are hardly ever shit. On occasion they are. I won’t lie. But I will tell you that even then I still find some key story thread waiting to be picked up and hammered into shape.

Yet neither of these instances are the delete button worthy question I am referring to in the title. No, that is reserved for the crazy out of nowhere lines that pop past the brain/finger barrier. You know, the ones that magically appear on the page and must stay there.

I had a set recently: Clouds touch more than sky. Five words and I couldn’t delete them no matter how hard I tried. They had no meaning to the story. They don’t even fit together except I think strung that way they sound cool. Hardly a reason to keep them.

Yet a month later I had gleaned where in the story they belonged. I knew Sky was a character name (happy coincidence) and that for my Protag, it had great significance. Otherwise I was stuck. Two months in, jumping around, trying to tie things together the dam finally burst. Clouds touch more than sky became symbolic, and a real turning point. That proverbial ah-hah moment for the Protag and me.

I was so pleased that I shared this with a writer friend then asked if she too ever had those types of words. Now I ask you. When, if ever do you hit delete?

Author/Contributor: Teresa Little

 

 

We run our world with full vigor and a type of control which we each exude over all aspects of our individual lives, even if we are not aware of it. Our understanding of what we can control is the reason why we can learn understand our direct environment. It is the fundamental way we ultimately learn how to interact with each other. We use what we have learned about ourselves through our individually learned methods to learn about others, and I have begun to suspect that we have all learned wrong. Lately, I have been noticing how impatient people are with one another. The level of animosity produced not only keeps us from valuing one but another but also interferes with our ability to love in our relationships.

But even though we see the results of this there is very little actually being done to combat the problem. The reason for this is because of the social duality we have created and allowed to perpetuate repeatedly without sitting don to properly address the root causes of the problems. On one side is the camp of solutions, they work night and day to garner and achieve the impossible in their lives. They foster lifelong relationships and battle against all injustice and unrighteousness there is and strive for fair and equal treatment of all people. This camp sacrifices career and monetary goals to ensure their families remain close and friends are not left behind. There is very little monetary value which can be associated with these solutions and therefore it is difficult under normal circumstances to be able to find the support it takes to see their solutions come to life. And then there is the second camp which has the intention of the first camp but ultimately finds the best solutions to not only see part of their values come forth but also sustains them to be able to function on their own. This camp works very closely with compromise but does not often relent on their beliefs.

Having both is necessary to our world for without one of them imbalance would take control. Unfortunately, the imbalance between the two does exist because of the methods in which they interact with one another. The level of control which they both refuse to surrender because of their own reasoning is why we are unable to find the middle ground in a large number of our conflicts. And how we conduct our relationships, is also reflected in a similar manner. If we take a look at our politics, for example, we notice on most news channels which cover what all is going on, you are left with conflicting opinions of each political party. While no government is perfect, you can always expect problems to occur with anything which has been created by man (just try to figure out your phone, computer, or car when there is a problem if you don’t believe me. But the way we manage conflict and control our environments in no way shape or form exude any sort of tolerance for the other camp and If we do not find a way to address this need for control we will suffer our children to a similar fate. For intolerance is not love.

 

We should be learning harder on how to work together rather than tearing each other apart. Creating solutions to save face is not the same as saving one another. We want safety without rejection, love without persecution, security without victimization. We all want the same thing even if we are unconsciously aware of it.

We all want to be loved without conditions.